In these past few months, so many people have died from Steve Jobs to Shammi Kapoor, Amy Winehouse to Gautam Rajadhyaksha and most recently, Jagjit Singh. Not to mention the countless number of daily victims of war and starvation. All of this just brings the thought of death closer to mind.
As I sat in the plane yesterday, experiencing some of the roughest turbulence I have till date, for the first time I found myself wondering what if. What if we crash? Am I ready to just disappear in a flash, off the face of this earth? I wasn't being dramatic or panicking. Turbulence has never bothered me, neither has death. I have always thought, so what? If I'm meant to go I will go...hopefully in my sleep, else in the ocean or in a plane, given a choice. In fact there have been times when so much has gone wrong in life and I found myself thinking 'Why can't I just die? It would be so much simpler!'. But the question as it turns out, is am I ready for it? Really ready for it.
Ironically, when I think of death, I think of life. All the things I have done, the lessons I have learnt, the challenges I have faced, the love I have been showered with, the friends I have been blessed with and the dreams I have realised. That then leads me to the next stage. There are so many things I have wanted to do, places to visit, things to learn, experiences to have, feelings to share which I still have not done. There is much left to do... So if I had to answer my own question, here goes - I am not ready. It's hard for me to actually admit that to myself because I do not see death as an end. I am just loving life too much at the moment and feel like I am growing, getting to a destination and to be yanked off that path out of nowhere is not something I am prepared for. Not yet.
But to all those who have been, I am sorry. I am sorry they didn't get to live their lives to the fullest or see all of their dreams and creations come to life. For family member and friends who feel cheated and robbed, I empathise. But there is something to be learnt here too. The greats leave behind their work, a symbol of how they lived life doing what they loved most and did best. For those of us alive, I hope we have the wisdom to realise the value of every minute we have to live, to laugh, to believe and make every dream into a reality.
'Planned obsolescence isn't a new idea - God always used it with people' - Robert Orben.
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