On My Mind...
First thought: Write for On My Mind - What? Open Pandoras box?
Second Thought: Oh this is so cool, I'm a writer and that is something I've kept to myself since I was 14 years old and now I feel secure and confident enough to finally share it with the world.
Third Thought: Ummm, does the world even care about whats on my mind?
Fourth Thought: Sure thing! I should give myself more credit and even if I have one reader apart from the editor who has no choice but to read this, I'll be happy.
Fifth Thought: Right; now can we actually start writing please?
Sixth Thought: Okay but how am I supposed to sum up all 56 things on my mind right now in just two paragraphs?
Seventh Thought: Hmmm, maybe I should ask them to make this a permanent column for me since I have so much to spew out?
Eighth Thought: Will you stop dreaming and just get started already?
I'm not schizophrenic, I'm just someone that thinks a lot. Way too much even. Thing is, I always have. If I look back at my life, its easy to trace the steps. As a child whenever I was told to do or not do something, I had to know why. I analyzed each request with all possible pros and cons, and if it made sense to me I obliged, if not - you had no chance. In college, I sometimes debated and argued so much with my philosophy teacher that as the other students sat exasperated and confused, even my teacher would give up saying 'maybe we should just ask Plato!'. I've loved discussing life, love, spirituality, traveling, music - to name a few things, and learning about other peoples' take on things and making them question things and beliefs too. On the other hand, I can happily sit by myself for hours on end introspecting - which is why I always have a notebook and 2 pens with me.
But of late, I've been contemplating the merits of so much thinking. Very often I end up getting into things so deep, I end up making life very complicated for myself. And then again I ask myself why I do that. Is it a woman thing? Why do men rarely seem to think? I want to be more like a man, not care and just do. Thankfully, the alarm bells start to ring and I realize I've asked 'Why' - inviting a whole new debate!! This year, one of the lessons I have to learn is to just stop thinking so much, to let go, trust life and flow. Not just say it but practice it. To be a hundred percent in the moment, not let my mind wander.
The only time I am in a complete state of peace and balance is when I'm diving. Some 30 metres down, in a beautiful, diverse, endless, big blue universe. The magnanimity of the ocean puts life into perspective for me. It is one of the most magical experiences ever. Often I wish I could give everything up, go be a dive instructor so I could live by crystal clear waters, dive constantly, get back to basics, be one with nature and have my peace. But I also have learnt that the grass often seems greener on the other side and things aren't necessarily always perfect in life. So, I accept this is my life here and now. And life is beautiful. I have wonderful family, amazing friends, food, a home, clothing, opportunities, love, sunshine, warmth and I am blessed enough to be able to experience this inner bliss whenever I want (Indonesia seems to be calling me next month - feel free to sponsor my liveaboard dive trip please).
I have much to be grateful for and I am. So if you read this column, thanks for bearing with me, letting me speak my mind and get on with my day a tad lighter. Wish you a super positive, successful day and just smile no matter what happens! Lets all live a little lighter and spread a little cheer eh? There's always someone that could use some! All my love
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